Rebeca Melo

hi last Thursday I did the most stupid thing I've ever done, but I won't put details here, it's not apropriate... I just want to say that I'll stop going out for whikle, til I learn to behave well. I'm listening to neon Neon, a song named "Raquel" my sister's name, it's pretty good, I recommend. bye.

meu mundo está assim, injusto. Aliás, não é o meu mundo, é o de lá de fora. droga, tudo tão injusto, tão frio, quem se importa com o que sinto?...amigos falam, eu ouço, mas raramente me ouvem, tudo tão injusto...e a universidade só me sugando, me sinto tão improdutiva, não tenho trabalhos suficientes para apresentar aqui, acolá...não quero isso, só quero me graduar, não achei que fosse tão complicado. Não quero a vida acadêmica, mas me sinto quase que obrigada a fazer mestrado...também, o meio acadêmico foi o jeito mais "fácil" que achei pra melhorar essa droga de vida. só quero viver, não quero prêmios, quero meus livros publicados, não quero destaque, nem ser melhor que ninguém porque não sou. Igualdade, não oportunidade. Não aceito detenção de poder tal que me seja "permitido" pedir oportunidade, não, quero igualdade, King, oh King, you were right, so right, your words so beautiful and clear and so smart... eu sou pobre, quase negra, a pobreza que clamo aos quatr...

hmm my life IS REALLY brilliant! such jokes it plays me! I went to a party on Friday 3rd, I met a guy and this time I thought the things would be different, but he leave me too. oh God, I can't take it anymore! I've got a bad cold, Jesus, it put me down. Today I think I'm better. Not at all, but a bit better. I didn't went to the Choral. I met M around RU, such a boring guy! "do you want me to make you a tea?" oh, please, come on! when he's gonna wake up? yesterday was such a day! I went to L's house, we did Gracia's test, after I passed on the church and I was too bad, almost dying...if I don't die today, I won't do never. single, single, forever single and single again, that's my fate! come on , baby, light my fire! but who? ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just don't care! Bye.

No, it is not love, but I am happy. I met him at Pyjamas' party, twenty-year-boy. He lives in the lodgement too, PÓS. We stayed Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Now, I'll just see him on next Saturday because he has a lot 2 tests this week and he didn't study the weekend - guess why... - it was pretty good the way we are...I like him. On Sunday, I went with him to the voting, he voted, I justified. what an Odissey this presentation on the Symposium! Now, we are supposed to present - Coral Voix-là - tomorrow at the end this event. Today was the first day and some lectures were good, interesting, others not so...but, anyway, it was worth, always worth to practice English, even just listening. Bye.

I invited Nill to come and drink with me on Friday. he accepted!it will be great! I'm calm about relations. thanks a God! God is pretty good to me. amén.

I think I am completely lost. yesterday I staied, that is, I slept with R and it was pretty good. I want to be his lover, I'll tell it to him. I don't have way anymore. bye.

I am on vacations, for God's sake! it seems like my family won't come, I'll live on my on this month (God bless me). on last Friday, I went to Lion and I staied with a blond boy, 19, my little angel as I called him, he is so cute. he is known as "Araxá" because he is from Araxá. he travaled last saturday to there, after we passed the night together. I think I won't see him again, but maybe, I would like to. Nill saw us together... I got 88 in North American literature! thanks God! just missing some notes in English literature. I'll do a "lack of sex" because I have to take shame on my face, if I can say that. bye.