another November morning, cold and sweet.
lately, I've been getting to this blog, I write something, put I don't publish it, I don't know what happens, I want to make it better, just to make it better.
Yesterday at night I was almost sleeping, but the sounds here disturbed me and I got up to do something on internet, I was looking my orkut and then I decided to watch something, I watched "death note", just one part, the part resumed, I suppose, 'cause it was not too long, I've got the other parts, that's an interesting story.
now here in the morning I'm trying to solve my puzzles in my own sweet time. I'm getting to do it, hope so. My life is such a brilliant one! I love that. it's true I suffer a lot and I don't like to be like I am today, but that's okay, nor all the times brilliant means perfect. I am such lost today, not so lost in fact, but lost-minded, if it exists. I don't remember everything I did last saturday. Yes, I drank and it was good, real good 'cause I was safe among friends, and I just kept sat down and everything was okay 'till the moment I went out; from this moment on I cannot see things clearly. kind of strange...not in relation to me, you know...
But suddenly I am so okay that I feel strange, it's not normal to be so okay, and so lost...I'm lost exactly because I'm okay. Sorry for today, I really need to prove myself I know English well, well enough to be me. I'm afraid things start going wrong, this inside silence in me is pretty dangerous, something seems to be around.
"Relax, take it easy, for there's nothing that we can do..." (MIka - "Relax, take it easy").
I feel I will never relax. I take life real seriously because this is me, then. I cannot go on on Lispector's book, I reached the disgusting part, I cannot manage to read and go on. why do I have to face my fear? eating a bug is disgusting, mainly THAT bug, the cockroach, disgusting, my goodness, Lispector ate a cokroach!! I wanna read the book, but it has to be in the dawn, I think.
Yesterday was the second Sunday I do not go to the church, and this is too bad. I cannot be away from God, and the church is the mean to get closer. My faith needs to be strongher, for sure.
Next Thursday I will sing with my choir, Voix-Là, in the DED, at 8 o'clock, pm. As I don't have money, my hair will be natural. I'd like to straight it, but...I've got no money from Universo, yet. They have to pay me!!Hope they do that today.
It's raining and that's perfect. Enjoy the day. Bye.