"Tempo de buscar e tempo de perder; tempo de guardar e tempo de deitar fora"Eclesiastes 3: 6
He won't be here anymore. He is not in my life anymore; he already wasn't a log time, just now I realize. He is not on my msn any longer, he is not on my facebook. It was better this way. I couldn't take any longer his presence there. When he was online, I almost sufocated because I couldn't talk to him, I couldn't talk about my feelings... now, they are just sadness, sorrow and hate. I'd like to do something to bother him, to disturb him, but I can't. I just can't.
He is not here any longer. I don't listen to his voice, his laugh... his body is no longer on my reach, at my disposal... I don't complain about it, I'm tired. I just took the right decision: to take him off my life because he already did that with me, a long time ago... I'm nothing to him and I hope one day he doens't bother my heart anymore.
I think I always dreamed of him, but no, we were not meant to be together. It would be perfect, paradise being with him, but he chose to put me away, he chose to be free form my feelings, he let me go and I didn't want to go. Now it's my time to let him go, even knowing that he has already gone...
No... I never dreamed of him. I prefer to be alone this moment and my body is learning to not long for him or wait on him...I'm learning to live, that's all that matters. Forget about the past, live the present, think about future. It's hard, very hard, but i'm tryng, I'm learning, I'm living.