Nothing left to say

I'm afraid of going out on Fridays. The last Friday before last wasn't good 'cause I received bad news. But I don't wanna remember that... I found an interesting phrase on facebook that said: "Learn that it isn't worth to suffer for someone that is happy without you".  That's all.

I'm preparing myself for the next costume party. Something tell me it will be good, but there's a pain inside, I mean, there's something also wrong in the air, I can feel it. Maybe it's just my pessimism acting, but I've gotta listen to it somehow. Otherwise I can fall in another hole. i'm going to use a gangsta costume, female. It's hard to find what I want, and we are in Summer, so, maybe I'll suffer because it's so hot and I was thinking about going with a suit, dressed more as a man than as a woman. People get crazy rsrs...

And it's so hot today that I took an ice cream and after a popsicle and then I just fell on my bed and slept all afternoon. Yesterday I went out and it was hot too, but I think it was less. It was not a good night, because a man kept talking to me on my behvior, what I can't do and how I must behave. I just hate that! I was not at ease with him and he ensured that I wasn't... These questions do not bother me anymore because I overcame then, finally. I don't have to change, unless I want, and I can behave the way I want as well, within what it's right.

I got a keyboard borrowed form my cousin, but it's not working. Today it almost did, but... I'm trying to make small and controlled things work. Human beings need to have control on something, I need to have control upon my concrete life: work, objects... Bothers me the fact that I don't have control on my life, on my feelings. In fact, I have control on my feelings, but I need to practice it more often. Lately, i'm feeling without enthusiasm, something good and essential tto make things work. gee, I'm talking like a self-help book, and that's because I don't know what to write here, what to say to the world. Maybe there's nothing left to say, as says the song... bye. 


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