|sleeping beauty, forever me...|
I think I'm getting better, in a way. I'm still feeling cold, sad, empty and full at the same time, but as I told, my process is lazy, slow. Need time, but I'm anxious. Need time, but I want the cure right now. So, need time always.
Today I just felt as a professional, I mean, I suddenly realized that I am in the market job, I'm a professional, I AM AN ENGLISH TEACHER, with all its pros and againsts. And it's all I have in this moment, and that's this part I've gotta to take seriously, more seriously, and let the other areas just "happen" or take care of themselves. Of course things and areas of life do not simply solve themselves, but I'm learning to let things go on, let things flow, I don't know, just making some effort to let the things folow their courses, those ones which are out of my hand, not totally, but out momentaneously.
I could write better, no? My poetry is great, my wrting, poor. I could be a better person, as a matter of fact I stil can, and I'm looking for perfection somehow, even if it's almost impossible to reach. People persecute excellence... should I? Why? Why not?
Let me sleep because now I'm not feeling like writing a lot... let's sleep takes me, naturally. bye.