I'll learn to survive
Oh, come on. This is not fair. I almost begged to you, "let me in, let me in, let me in..." And you didn't. Suddenly I turned around, and there was another one. I begged again, as a fool: "let me in, let me in, let me in..." But he didn't. Again I collected the pieces of my heart and thought the new one who appeared would keep yhem in his own heart. But no. I begged let me in one more time. Again. Again. Again. They all stepped on me without mercy.
But suddenly, suddenly...
They are still here inside me, forgotten in some deep place or, at least, trying to be forgotten by me... ignoring me on the street, passing me by, sending emails messages or chatting on facebook... suddenly they all seem to come back somehow to disturb me... I've been never good enough, but then...
I'm lost. I am love and I love. Why do people want to take this off me? Why can't I just relax and live this new phase? This is not only about them. This is about what I feel. Yet.
I want more of life. Money, cars, clothes, houses, beaches, children, universities, countries, the world on my hands. The way presented to me is a totally different one. It's simple, hard, takes time and patience. Why can't the world simply be more simple? As I told once, life hurts.
So many ghosts and demons showing up, getting me disturbed. Life hurts. But my Father is bigger than everything.
Words and actions don't come easily to me... everything seems so terrible, so big, ... why things simply don't finish at all?